I used to hate bulimia. Now I understand it. I live it. Every day, I have to decide which I hate most: how I’m purging food when millions out there can’t even obtain food, how I feel when I don’t eat, or how I feel with food in my stomach.
I tried on some pants I’ve had for 2 years. When I first got them, they were tight. Then my mom washed them and they shrank too much. I couldn’t fit until about 6 months ago, and they were tight. I just tried them on and it took me a while to realize… They’re too big now! In fact, all of my pants are so big that the extra fabric actually makes it look like I’m bigger than I am! I actually have to go out this weekend to get smaller pants.
I actually weigh less than I did in 5th grade. I feel on top of the world! I’ve never been huge. My sister has always been smaller though. I always hated how my sister 2 years older was way less than me. I thought I was huge. In fact, I’m always so surprised when I look at old pictures and see how small I was.
I guess I owe it (sarcastically) to my last relationship which was terribly abusive. He pushed me to hate myself, how I looked, and how much I weighed. I was 5’1” and 118 pounds. I have lost 15 pounds in just a few months. If you want a proana promia abuse survivor, I am here for you. Send me a message. I will be there for you. I promise. We will stay strong. I will help everyone that contacts me.